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What is Narcisstic Abuse?

My life passion is working with people to help free themselves from the grips of narcissistic abuse. Through my own life experience, I realized that narcissistic abuse is a form of abuse that many people don’t know about. This lack of coverage means that many people who are suffering from this form of abuse don’t even know it’s happening to them, even if they do know that something is incorrect about their situation.

One of the major goals of this entire blog is to get make more people aware of narcissistic abuse, and get the proper information out to anyone who needs it. So, I believe one of the first steps towards that is explaining exactly what narcissistic abuse is.


 

Narcissistic Abuse is a form of emotional abuse that can occur in both parent-child relationships and in relationships between two adults.

 

When narcissistic abuse occurs in a relationship between a parent and a child, the parent demands that their child completely rid his/herself of their own feelings and desires in order to cater to the parent’s needs and self esteem.

Narcissistic parents have children in order to create a relationship and dynamic in which they will, by default, have unchecked power and authority. They demand that their children be exact “reflections” of themselves, and the children develop anxiety-riddled complexes as they navigate life trying to please their narcissist patent.

richard grannon broken heart leaf
If narcissistic abuse occurs between two adults, there are two possibilities:

  1. There is just one narcissist in the relationship, and that one individual takes advantage of their partner.  Narcissistic individuals will actively seek out successful and independent partners in order to feed off of their success and emotional wealth. This is called “narcissistic supply
  2. Both individuals and narcissists and they form the detrimental “narcissist couple”.

In both cases, the narcissist is known for not taking any responsibility for their actions. The narcissistic partner(s) will start off the relationship by only showing their best qualities. These are individuals who are charming and self aware, so they are very good at manipulation. They know exactly how to present themselves as empathetic and kind. Once the narcissistic partner has their partner in a committed relationship, the ugly, abusive parts begin to manifest themselves. The narcissist will begin to display abusive behavior such as ignoring their partner, gaslighting, throwing fits of rage, and sometimes even physically assaulting their partner.

This phase of abuse can go on for quite some time before the narcissist(abuser) leaps into the “discard” phase. In this phase of the relationship, the abuser no longer feels like they need their current partner, and they either break up with their partner with no warning or they start a series of affairs. When the narcissistic partner starts seeing new partners, the cycle starts up again.


For resources and additional information, please visit the following sites: Psychology Today, The Narcissistic Life, & The Elephant Journal.

 

 

 

 

CPTSD Podcast and Video Blog 1 “managing a relationship with someone with CPTSD”

Hey there welcome to the first Podcast and Video Blog on CPTSD and Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.

In it this podcast I will be answering questions from the forum here.

You can watch the video from here  or listen to the podcast here.

These were the questions that were answered.

“1) Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with someone with CPTSD, if they are following up with therapy and the necessary steps to recover?
2) Can being in a relationship with someone with CPTSD bring out codependent/fawning coping mechanisms, and is that just an unhealthy dynamic?
3) What is the best way to be supportive to someone with CPTSD?
4) Is it even possible to separate regular “relationship” issues vs CPTSD related issues, and honestly does the distinction even matter if it is causing unhappiness…?”

“I’m going through a divorce with a covert/vulnerable narcissistic man. He went from deeply in love to done and discarded very quickly. I’m having a very hard time getting past this even though the marriage lasted only 6 months and he lived with me only 42 days across those 6 months. He’s already onto a new “supply”. I have learnt from your videos that I have a people pleasing syndrome and I sold myself too short in this marriage.

1) I want to regain my self-worth. Where do I begin?
2) How can I be self-assertive and avoid attracting narcissistic men? I have very low self-esteem.
3) When will the pain stop…I know there’s no easy way out. Minute by minute seems so difficult right no”

“Is there research that’s been done or links between children who have grow up in extreme religions/cults (I.e moronism) developing NPD? Can a narcissist (by his own nature) believe in God?”

“After watching the videos in your class, I’m wondering if I have to be very careful with the therapist I choose to help recover from CPTSD.

What are some questions I should be asking when I call them? So far I am going to ask if they’ve successfully treated someone with CPTSD in the past.
The reason I ask, is that my previous therapist continued to treat me, but avoided talking about what caused my CPTSD. I don’t think she was trained for it so she didn’t want to unearth what I have buried. Still, her ego was too big to refer me to someone who could actually help.”

“1)Can a BPD woman also be a covert Narc?I’m a bit confused on this one.I ask this as when we watched your vids,she actually said to me ‘I hope you don’t think I am a Narc?’!

2)I made the mistake of bringing up a few times after the r’s ended that I felt she suffered this.Even though she rang me one night telling me ‘I’m empty inside’ ‘I’m weird’ ‘I don’t know who I am’ etc.She has now backtracked,denied this and has basically done a 180 and i’m now a Narc in her mind.She and I are NC now two month.I am giving up of ever bringing this up again if we ever get on speaking terms as she has to know this is why she feels the way she has all her life.Do you think it’s in her and my best interest to just drop it as she is an adult and has to make her own choices regardless of how much I care?

3)Grieving in reverse.How much do you know about this or is there much weight to it?Is it just a repression of emotions,then as time goes on the dam just overflows and the pain hits them when we have worked through our grief?

4)I read that they seem to jump into new r’s very quickly.Five months on and she hasn’t.This goes against her past as she never seemed to be without a partner for very long.Do some Bpd woman fill that void with friends or other activities.Is this against the ‘norm’?”

Copyright Richard Grannon 2016

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